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John Gilderbloom
Hi everyone! Surprise! What are the odds? Carla Snyder and Dr. John I. "Hans" Gilderbloom are engaged! We wanted to share our happiness at the class reunion because we were getting married a day before at a private ceremony at Crystal Springs (Where else do you get married when growing up there?) Anyway, we hope to see you all at the upcoming class reunion next summer 2021. Below is our story but before you read it get a glass of wine and some Klenex.
From High School Rivals to Lovers—meeting in 1957 in Nursery School to getting married 62 years later: The Incredible and Awe Inspiring Story of Carla J. Snyder and John Hans Gilderbloom
By Carla J. Snyder (her voice) with plenty of input from John Hans Gilderbloom
The most incredible journey has unfolded for us both. Who would have ever thought…these two would be destined to be together? Meeting at age 5 in Nursery School; going together to middle school Church camp, high school, Thursday Night worship, ten year reunions; and finally meeting together at age 65 and finding love. And the rest is now unfolding, a marriage upcoming May 28, 2020 had to be postponed till next summer of 2021. We are so excited to be getting married in our hometown of Burlingame, California overlooking a breathtaking Crystal Springs Reservoir—seven miles South of San Francisco where we grew up. We hope that our story will inspire others that true love can bloom with forgiveness, reconciliation, and happiness.
The most important decision I (Carla) have made in my life was getting on that plane and traveling the 654 miles as the crow flies back to San Francisco Bay Area from Phoenix where this story began decades earlier. I thought to myself from his Facebook posts that he looked like he was doing some pretty interesting things and unbeknownst to him I was pursuing a vocation that aligned with his. We all assembled in our hometown library for his book talk on “Chromatic Homes: The Joy of Color in Historic Places.”[http://www.chromatichomes.com]. Fifteen people showed up. I was flanked by my two best friends since Kindergarten and John accompanied by his sisters and cousins. Needless to say I was dressed to impress (as a former department store model) and when I came up to get my signed copy of the book (which he charged me full price!) he took my hand and he uttered the life altering words “Oh my God, are you single?”
After the talk a group of eight of us went out to socialize…John put his hand on my back to move us forward and there was a bolt of electricity that went through my body and I knew right then the trajectory of my life was moving in a new direction. We both yearned for each other—hometown boy and girl who made good but divided by the cultural earthquake of the sixties.
Later that evening John reached out by text and we agreed to meet up to renew our friendship. But we lived 1,717 miles by car and depending on the flight roughly 4 to 8 hours by plane. We both admitted that a long distance relationship was not our “thing”, but that there was no question we had much in common: work, education, spirituality and values from our upbringing. I had already been divorced twice, John’s 30-year relationship starting from graduate school ended by her tragic passing, and he had a series of broken relationships that were just not working out.
My daughter coached me on the morning that I was to take John on a drive to Grand Canyon and Sedona. She said, please have fun with this opportunity! Ah yes, this life is not a dress rehearsal, It is the Show! So I let down my guard. But let me regress.
The Burlingame Presbyterian Church, became my Sunday morning go to starting in nursery school / Kindergarten period. Another young lad also found his Sunday morning home in those same environs. I can only imagine the scene in class as little Carla who was pretty tightly wound designing a suburb of perfectly straight row housing and little Johnny Boy kicking it to rubble in an effort to get my attention!
Or perhaps more to the point the tension and rivalry which would follow us all the way through high school graduation. We were polar opposites in our political views and lifestyle at that time. I was labeled as a” brainiack” and John “a troublemaker / rebel who ran with a tough but popular crowd. “ We competed vigorously in Debate Competitions and often ending in dispute and anger. Truly blessed we graduated in 1970 a time of great promise and certainly a cultural revolution, which we saw right before our eyes especially in the hot bed of Haight Asbury 15 miles away. Santana, Neil Schon (who later started Journey) and Grateful Dead played at our teen dances, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham played at our big high school graduation party at an amusement park in San Jose.
Even more alarming was upper classmates were going to Vietnam and dying. Massive anti-war demonstrations, Black Panthers having shootouts and down the coast students U C Santa Barbara burned down the Bank of America. Again, there was a loud debate over these issues and lots of division. As an act to try to heal these divisions, I decided to have a graduation party at my house and invite all the seniors including the troublemakers--John and his friends. The college bound jocks had dressed like they were going to Sunday Church, with classic Arrow shirts , dockers and military style haircuts—they looked and dressed like sixties never happened and it was more like the fifties—“Happy Days”.
None of the troublemakers came to the party until…. Then to everyone’s shock and surprise, John marched in streaked blonde hair to his shoulders, polka dot shirt, stolen rental bowling shoes (yellow and red), blue sailor pants, and smelling of Patchouli oil. He went straight for the Fritos and ate handfuls. My Mom suspected he had the “munchies” from smoking pot. So, without my knowledge, my Mom got four jocks to grab him by his hands and escort him out.
After graduation, we went our separates ways to pursue college—local junior college for John and Arizona State University for me. During this thirty year, hiatus there were both tragedies and triumphs. John lost both his Son and wife under horrific circumstances as well as suffering a life threatening illness and a nasty home invasion of gunfire. Carla was a single parent from the time her children were 1 and 3 years old, maintaining a career on the road to support the family as well as having four major surgeries, which could have been forever debilitating.
Three decades passed before we were to again meet. At that high school reunion party, John took special notice of me because my escort who was a runner up for Mr. Universe( still ripped ) he and I owned the dance floor. Wow! John’s impression of me did a 180! He was amazed and proud of my new look, attitude, and vibe. Similarly, at the reunion they announced that John was our most successful graduating senior—with a stack of academic awards, grants, consulting to Presidents, op-eds in top newspapers, a Professor, and even a profile in the New York Times. However, three high school reunions—10 year, 20 year, and 30 year we still were not talking with each other. In addition, the same divisions existed---and we were still 20 feet apart. And that is the way it was always 20 feet apart in classrooms, the church bus, socials, and even coffee shops. But we always had eyes for each other: curious, wanting and hoping.
Nevertheless, despite the barriers put between us—we later learn we always had a longing and desire for each other. The untouchable Carla wanted to be touched, have dates and hang out with the bad boys. Similarly, John wanted the “good girl” from Burlingame.
It was after that 40-year reunion that we connected albeit infrequently on social media until that fateful announcement by John of the promotion tour of his seventh book.
Within the first couple months, even with the challenge of miles between our homes, we were amazed at how much we shared in common, writing, music, sports, theater, working out, healthy foods, thin mint ice cream, Fig Newton’s and of course Frito’s. John admitted that women found him difficult with his ambitions, dreams and hopes but I embraced them like no other. We also spent hours on the road listening to our favorite CD’s and bringing back memories of our youth. Robust laughter, singing and dancing as we recaptured the feeling that we always desired each other. So we started traveling together (always a supreme test) to New York, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Aspen, Honolulu, Palm Springs, Grand Canyon, and Louisville. And the magic just kept getting better and better. No red flags or even a yellow flag!
It is not unusual for strangers to approach us and tell us about the glow of love that emanates from each other. We were surprised that so many people noticed that vibe: giggles, hand holding, PDA’s and smiles. It felt so natural and not forced---we found each other soul mates for life.
After a year or so of kicking the tires, taking this for a test drive, John proposed in the most beautiful and heartfelt way in May of 2019. He gathered my family together in Phoenix, dropped to one knee (an accomplishment for a 5 foot 17 inch man) and asked me to become his wife. More ironic, his wedding ring is made out of my Mom’s ring. We keep laughing and thinking: I wonder what my Mom might say perhaps: “The last person on earth I wanted my daughter to see (let alone marry) was John and how truly ironic he is wearing my wedding ring”; well on second thought she might be saying after so many years alone my sweet daughter found the love of her life and John found his.” “I wish the best for them.”
And the rest is now unfolding, though like the rest of the world in these unprecedented times, the wedding ceremony has been postponed. An unintended consequence however has blessed us with the opportunity to celebrate “ before marriage “honeymoon. To explain, John came out to Phoenix for spring break as he is a professor at University of Louisville on March 8th, 2020. Within a few days the world came to a halt as we know it, the University went virtual and John is still here in Phoenix teaching, research and doing service. I, who ate brown rice /veggies for the last ten years since the kids moved on have picked up cooking again meditative in these stressful times for me and nourishing for the soul for us both. We are learning a new norm and building a stronger partnership each day. It seems like every day we realized how lucky we are to be together. We appreciate each other more and more. With COVID-19 we are together 24/7 doing our daily routines: walking together 4 miles a day at night, doing yoga and push ups, listening to music, teaching, raising money, staying in touch with friends and family. In the end, we have learned what Ernest Hemingway says “we are get broken in life” but we can repair ourselves by finding a partner for ever lasting love.
Hey Vikings you can reach us by email at; Carla.Snyder@cox.net and jgilde02@sprynet.com
Sadly, for security purposes which is another dark and scary story, we are not posting this on Facebook.
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My My new novel, GIDEON RESURRECTION is the second book in the GIDEON trilogy and is now available on Amazon. If you like suspense and mystery, check it out. It's a great summer read. PLUS...you'll find many familiar names and locations...